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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL

Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.  We in da get club getting tipsy. Numb. Shots Shots Shots. Red solo cup!!

I wonder how many songs are dedicated solely to the art of getting hammered?  My guestimate is somewhere around 684,475,219,205,582,371 (give or take a couple).  If someone can take a few seconds to find out, I would greatly appreciate it.  I genuinely want to know PLEASETHANX

Getting drunk truly is an art form.  It takes a lot of practice to figure out how many lemon drops will send you to unconscious oblivion and as our parents and teachers taught us practice makes perfect right?  Which is why I practice as often as I can (but I promise I’m not an alcoholic).  However, as any college student can tell you alcohol is expensive!!  Unless you enjoy torturing your esophagus with those $10 plastic bottles of vodka you want to actually enjoy what you’re numbing your brain with and the good stuff don’t come cheap.   So that’s where my deal finding ways comes in real handy.  I am always on the lookout for a fun adventure and when it involves alcohol it gets even better.

I honestly don’t even know how many alcohol-related deals I have purchased over the years (swear I’m not an alcoholic, I just can’t count that high).  But I have done everything from wine tasting to painting with wine tasting to Cinco-de-Mayo open bar events to a Vegas barhop with unlimited bus drinks to half off drinks at local bars to a booze fest with Santa Claus to wine trains and probably many more (I really truly am not an alcoholic). 

Here is a list of all the deals I can remember I’ve purchased with what I paid vs. what they normally cost:

What I Paid
Alcoholics Pay
Vegas Club Crawl w/ unlimited drinks on the bus
$39
$88
Santa Claus Booze fest with unlimited beer & wine tastings in Atlanta
$25
$50
Cinco de Mayo festival with 1 hour open bar in New York
$15
$24
Sacramento Wine Train
$22.50
$45
Sacramento Bulls: drinks, appetizer, desert and bull ride for 2
$19
$43
Bar 333 at Le Meridian in San Francisco
$25
$50
Alley Katz bar in Sacramento
$10
$20
Streets of London bar in Sacramento
$15
$30
Skybox bar in Sacramento
$10
$20
Long Beach wine bar with tastings and appetizer
$22
    $44       
TOTAL
$202.50
$414

I saved over $200 using these sites for my alcohol related extravaganzas!!  I know people who will spend that much money in 1 night on alcohol.  CRAZY RIGHT?  But I promise these weren’t all experienced in the last week, these were deals purchased and used over the last 2 years.  I’m really truly not an alcoholic.  I just like to drink a lot!!!

 
 

REAL TALK if you have any alcohol-related issues please don’t take my advice (this time).  In fact, if you have already read this post then I suggest you go directly to your local rehab facility or therapist or hypnotist and have the memory of this post erased from your brain.  I do not condone or promote alcohol abuse.  Alcoholism is a serious disease and anyone suffering from it should seek help immediately. 


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